What if Star Trek The Next Generation Was a Streaming Show?
Cutting the Episode Count Down
Some days my mind wanders. I think about weird things like what my favorite Star Trek episodes are and why streaming shows now feature only 8 to 13 episodes per season.
I then started thinking about whether it was possible to cut each season of Star Trek: The Next Generation down to 13 of the best episodes. Would viewers miss much? I’m thinking they would not.
So, I took it upon myself to whittle down each season’s normal 26 episodes down to 13. At the very least, it makes for a fun exercise (no, not that kind of exercise) and a playlist for a fun binge-watching run.
Season 1
Encounter at Farpoint (101, 102)
Where No One Has Gone Before (106)
The Battle (109)
Hide and Q (110)
Haven (111)
The Big Goodbye (112)
Datalore (113)
11001001 (115)
Symbiosis (122)
Skin of Evil (123)
We’ll Always Have Paris (124)
Conspiracy (125)
The Neutral Zone (126)
The first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation is not good. The writers had no idea what to do with these characters, and there are only two or three episodes worth watching again (the pilot, “Conspiracy,” and “The Neutral Zone”).
Season 2
The Child (201)
Elementary, Dear Data (203)
The Outrageous Okona (204)
A Matter of Honor (208)
The Measure Of A Man (209)
The Dauphin (210)
Contagion (211)
The Icarus Factor (214)
Q Who (216)
Samaritan Snare (217)
Up The Long Ladder (218)
The Emissary (220)
Peak Performance (221)
Also, a lost season of mostly C-level stories. “The Measure Of A Man” is a standout. “Q Who” is scary, but the rest are just okay. It really is quite surprising that the show remained on the air. If it weren’t first-run syndication with the Star Trek name behind it, I doubt it would get a third season.
Season 3
Who Watches The Watchers (304)
The Enemy (307)
The Defector (310)
Deja Q (313)
Yesterday’s Enterprise (315)
The Offspring (316)
Sins of the Father (317)
Allegiance (318)
Captain’s Holiday (319)
Hollow Pursuits (321)
The Most Toys (322)
Sarek (323)
The Best of Both Worlds Part 1 (326)
This season features several impressive episodes, including “The Defector,” “Yesterday’s Enterprise,” “Captain’s Holiday,” “Sarek,” and the kicker, “The Best of Both Worlds.”
Season 4
The Best of Both Worlds Part 2 (401)
Family (402)
Brothers (403)
Legacy (406)
Reunion (407)
Future Imperfect (408)
The Final Mission (409)
Data’s Day (411)
The Wounded (412)
Qpid (420)
The Drumhead (421)
The Mind’s Eye (424)
Redemption Part 1 (426)
Last season’s “The Best of Both Worlds,” the second half of the two-parter here, and “Family” are arguably among the best Star Trek episodes and are especially good when viewed back-to-back-to-back.
Season 5
Redemption Part 1 (501)
Darmok (502)
Ensign Ro (503)
Disaster (505)
The Game (506)
Unification Part 1 (507)
Unification Part 2 (508)
Conundrum (514)
Cause and Effect (518)
The First Duty (519)
I Borg (523)
The Inner Light (525)
Time’s Arrow Part 1 (526)
Here’s where it really gets interesting. From “Darmok” through “The Inner Light,” there isn’t a clunker of an episode. The writing staff is hitting its stride, and the actors have a better understanding of who their characters are at this point. I’m a big fan of “The Inner Light,” but I don’t think it’s the best single episode of TNG.
Season 6
Time’s Arrow Part 2 (601)
Relics (604)
Rascals (607)
A Fistful of Datas (608)
Chain of Command Part 1 (610)
Chain of Command Part 2 (611)
Ship in a Bottle (612)
Face of the Enemy (614)
Tapestry (615)
Starship Mine (618)
Lessons (619)
Timescape (625)
Descent Part 1 (626)
The run of episodes from “Relics” to “Timescape” contains no bad episodes. Seasons 5 and 6 are the high-watermark episodes for me.
Season 7
Descent Part 2 (701)
Gambit Part 1 (704)
Gambit Part 2 (705)
Attached (708)
Force of Nature (709)
Inheritance (710)
Parallels (711)
The Pegasus (712)
Lower Decks (715)
Firstborn (721)
Preemptive Strike (724)
All Good Things… (725, 726)
It’s obvious that by Season 7, the show was getting tired. “Parallels,” “The Pegasus,” and “Lower Decks” make a good three-show arc, but the others aren’t quite as strong. “All Good Things…” is an excellent series ender and wraps up the television side of TNG perfectly.
Be seeing you.
“Hello, Stranger” Update
You may not care, but you are reading this, so maybe… I wrote a screenplay based on one of my short stories. The short story was an absolute riff on High Fidelity. It’s set in a comic shop rather than a record store, and it features girlfriends and weird employees. The crux of the prose story remained, but I took that spine and turned it into something completely different. There’s a funny High Fidelity reference, and our male lead does break the fourth wall, but that’s about as close as it gets to Hornby’s book or the movie.
I’m rather proud of it.
I don’t know anyone in the industry. Cold emailing people seems like a bad idea. The next step is probably seeing if I can get it hosted on The Black List.
If you happen to know someone who might be interested, feel free to let me know.
Backmasking
I love backmasking. Now with digital music files and home editing software, there’s no more spinning the vinyl record backward on a turntable. Satan, apparently, has gone binary. Enter “backmasking” into Google and nearly 9,000 sites pop up.
The whole stupid Christian coalition making what are really phonetic reversals into messages from Satan just cracks me up. I remember seeing televangelists wail about this crap. Of course, since I was/am a huge fan of KISS, there was the inevitable “Knights in Satan’s Service” tag. Funny enough, though, KISS never had a song that was backmasked either intentionally or not.
Wikipedia has a great collection of information on intended and unintended backmasking. Even more fun is Jeff Milner’s site, which offers many tracks to play forward and backward for your listening pleasure. Most of these are famous backmasking tracks that either I read about or actually heard back in the day.
Hearing “My Sweet Satan” as a phonetic reversal of “Stairway to Heaven” takes me back to high school and guys who were talented enough to splice the cassette tape or record the album and then “hand roll” it backward to try to recreate the sound.
I wish some of the newer metal bands would bring this practice back just to screw with the crazy religious right. I’d have all kinds of intentional backmasking on an album. All of it would be just like Christian rock band Petra’s famous intentional backmask, which says, “What are you looking for the devil for, when you ought to be looking for the Lord?”
Heh. That’d show ‘em.
Obligations
I wish I could float smoothly from project to project with the ease of self-assurance. I would love to be able to process information like a computer, make quick, insightful decisions, and stand behind them for all eternity. Does that sound even remotely like reality?
I manage a great deal. It’s not the mark of a modern 21st-century person to have managed one’s life as old hat. It isn’t. It just seems that way. We juggle so many things without even pausing to think about why we are doing them or whether they are good uses of our time.
Can you say no to a project given to you by your boss? Most of us would agree that saying no is not an option. Yet self-help gurus constantly bemoan that workers need to better manage their efforts to achieve optimal outcomes. How is that even possible with managers adding work to an already overworked staff? What are the priorities, and can it not be everything?
Obligations. These are the things that have to get done. You have to pay your rent/mortgage and your bills, go to work, make dinner, etc., etc. The question is, do you spend time on your obligations or on the things that you want to do?
The New Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood YouTube Channel
The folks at Fred Rogers Productions have launched a YouTube channel dedicated to Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. They plan to post compilations, clips, and full episodes, some of which haven’t been seen on PBS in years & years. One of the first complete episodes they’ve posted is the one about how crayons are made!
I love this. I have a three-year-old nephew who I think is maybe a touch too young for Mister Rogers, but he won’t be in a few years. I can’t wait to show this to him someday.
